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Robert Benchley Biography

Robert Benchley

Robert Charles Benchley (September 15, 1889 – November 21, 1945) was an American humorist best known for his work as a newspaper columnist and film actor. From his beginnings at The Harvard Lampoon while attending Harvard University, through his many years writing essays and articles for Vanity Fair and The New Yorker and his acclaimed short films, Benchley's style of humor brought him respect and success during his life, from his peers at the Algonquin Round Table in New York City to contemporaries in the burgeoning film industry.

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Robert Benchley Quotes

One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.

Pack, Phenomena, Self, Shells, Travel

Work is a form of nervousness.

Form, Nervousness, Work

It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.

Actors, Art, Enunciated, Play, Plays

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.

Make, Man, Men, Monkeys, Way

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

Attack, Funny, Heart, Retirement, Sarcastic, Young

Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P. M. , when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.

Morning, Coffee, Sunday, Cheery, Tracks, Dead

My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly say "I do not play bridge" is allowed to go over in the corner and run the pianola by himself, while the poor neophyte, no matter how much he may protest that he isn't "at all a good player, in fact I'm perfectly rotten," is never believed, but dragged into a game where it is discovered, too late, that he spoke the truth.

Frankly, Game, Matter, Mistake, Player, Running

If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.

Comedy, Live For Today, Sennett, Shakespeare, Would Be, Writing

I suppose that one of the psychological principles of advertising is to so hammer the name of your product into the mind of the timid buyer that when he is confronted with a brusk demand for an order he can't think of anything else to say, whether he wants it or not.

Names, Order, Suppose, Think, Thinking, Timid

All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

Laughter, Rigidity, Relieved, Involuntary, Twitching

A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.

Carpet, Child, Childhood, Children, Hands, Mouth

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

Game, Games, Hometown, Matter, Preparation, Teamwork

The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something.

Arizona, Desert, Full, People, Start

But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.

Faculties, Moving, Reaching, Salary, Tasks

In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.

Beautiful, Soil, Track, Would Be

Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.

Bridges, Buzz, Church, Matinee, Party

The English language may hold a more disagreeable combination of words than "The doctor will see you now. " I am willing to concede something to the phrase "Have you anything to say before the current is turned on?" That may be worse for the moment, but it doesn't last so long. For continued, unmitigating depression, I know nothing to equal "The doctor will see you now. " But I'm not narrow-minded about it. I'm willing to consider other possibilities.

Disagreeable, Doctors, English, Lasts, Long, Say

What is the disease which manifests itself in an inability to leave a party--any party at all--until it is all over and the lightsare being put out?. . . I suppose that part of this mania for staying is due to a fear that, if I go, something good will happen and I'll miss it. Somebody might do card tricks, or shoot somebody else.

Card, Curiosity, Good, Missing, Party, Tricks

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

Breaking, Feature, Ice, Men, Pitcher

A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old. ' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?

Conductor, Father, Help, Kids, Men, Ticket

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