Books are like eggs -- best when fresh.
I like psycho chicks. . . Yeah, you hook up with a psycho, you're gonna learn something. First thing you learn is how to sleep with one eye open.
You can't bring tweezers on an airplane. If I'm on a plane and you try to hijack it with tweezers, I'll whip your ass, man. You think I'm going to be late because you've got tweezers and a bad attitude?
Watching news showing all the same sex marriages. How long before first same sex divorce?
I wasn't always a comic, I used to do honest work.
Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home.
I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.
When you're the person who's kind of in charge of everything a lot of the time, it's sometimes nice to get bossed around. It's sometimes nice to have somebody say, "This is what I want you to do" and to stretch your abilities.
The pessimist is seldom an agitating individual. His creed breeds indifference to others, and he does not trouble himself to thrust his views upon the unconvinced.
In the past, I've thrown myself into work so much there's been very little room for anything else.
I just want to protect them no matter how much pain befalls me.