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Christian families are under attack in America! The Communists, Masons, Atheists, Humanists, Evolutionists, and other Godless sickos want to destroy the family. Parents beware; the government wants your child!

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Robin Williams

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Divorce, Funny, Humor, Losing, Tornado, Trailer
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The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that.

Character, Idea, Ideas, Kind, One Line, Relate

I was once walking in an airport and a woman came up to me and said, 'Be zany!'. That'd be like walking up to Baryshikov and going, 'Plie! Just do a plie! Do it! Do a releve right now! Lift my wife!'

Airport, Airports, Memorable, Wife, Woman, Zany

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

Cowboy, Chinese, Railroads, Worker, Cowboys

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

Cute, Dead Poets Society, Poetry, Read, Write, Writing

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Funny, Furniture, Humor, Inspiration, Night, Rearranged
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