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I have absolutely no skill set that would suggest that I would be able to do directing. [. . . ] If I were able to, I'd like to get into that.

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Rich Hall

Ignisecond, n. : The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"

Car, Doors, Hand, Hands, Ignisecond, Keys
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When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

Funny, Witty, Work, Desk, Rich

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.

Men, Pimp, Want, Knows, Women

As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

America, American, Apologize, Apologizing, Everything, Like

The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

Humorous, Peculiar, Returning, Searching, Snack, Snacks

The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

Envelopes, Figures, Humorous, Person, Quite, Stamp
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