Men long for an afterlife in which there apparently is nothing to do but delight in heaven's wonders.
Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days. . . Not all in a row.
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
There's always 30 or 40 Christians standing around, saying, "It's a shame that he has to die. " And Jesus is saying, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to if somebody would get a ladder and pair of pliers!!
I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies. . . You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
Kids suffering, with no opportunities for lack of having their basic human needs [met], like food, health, and education, but at the same time, [it] motivates me to keep fighting for them, for the ones less fortunate.
Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.
Asian girls are so natural and beautiful. I guess they don't like to wear make up