I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy … - Brian Regan

Same topic Authors

Quote of the day

A friend hipped me to hypoglycemia, which an article I read calls 'a disease for a nation of sugar junkies. ' Who knows how many people in this country have it?

Brian Regan

I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam. You don't want to get no 'D' on that thing and end up with these big thick Coke bottle glasses.

Crazy, Eye, Glasses, Exam, Know

Same Author Quotes

I hate the phrase “One thing led to another”. What kind of lazy writing is that? Isn't it your job as a writer to tell me how that made this happen? “Adolf Hitler was rejected as a young man in his application to an art school. One thing led to anotherand the United States ended up dropping two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan”.

Art, Hate, Jobs, Rejected, School, United

You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't even ask you why you did it.

Ask, Book, Fun, Phones

You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast a Pop Tart? A minute and a half if you want it dark? People don't have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap-fry your Pop Tarts before you head out the door, you might want to loosen up your schedule.

Dark, Doors, Listen, Long

They always say that Albert Einstein was a genius. Then how come when anyone ever calls you that, it's an insult? 'You don't know where you parked the car? Good job, Einstein. ' I don't think we're honoring that man properly by using his name in vain in parking lots.

Car, Honoring, Jobs, Men, Thinking, Vain

If reading makes you smart then how come when you read a book they have to put the title of the book on the top of every single page? Does anyone get halfway through a book, What the hell am I reading?

Book, Hell, Read, Reading, Smart