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I have a friend who actually told me that she'd rather be dead than be fat. This is a woman who, if I order a sandwich at lunch, she'll order a salad. If I order a salad, she'll order half a cantaloupe. If I order half a cantaloupe, she'll order a cup of coffee. This bizarre contest continues until she's down to sucking on a mint-flavored toothpick. At this rate, her preference for dying over being fat could be a reality sooner than she thinks.

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George Carlin

Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.

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Life is sacred? Who said so, God? Hey, if you read history you'll realize that God is one of the leading causes of death. . . has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, all taking turns killing each other because God told them it was a good idea.

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To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn't need guidance from.

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Obviously, there are people who constrict themselves and build walls around themselves, whether it's from a moral standpoint or a patriotic standpoint, or just plain old conformity, and who therefore live in those little prisons, and when things breach those walls, it's shocking for them.

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People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.

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