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My life is just a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents.
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Will Rogers
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I dident like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.
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