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The arguments for immortality, weak when you take them one by one, are no more cogent when you take them together. . . For my part, I cannot see how consciousness can persist when its physical basis has been destroyed, and I am too sure of the interconnection of my body and my mind to think that any survival of my my consciousness apart from my body would be in any sense a survival of myself.

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Zach Galifianakis

My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

Dad, Laughing, Laughs, People, Understand
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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.

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I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.

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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.

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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.

Choice, Choices, People, School, Thought, Used

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.

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