My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got … - Jon Stewart

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I shouldn't even be wearing a tutu. I don't have the right legs, my muscles are too big.

Jon Stewart

My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.

Cans, Hands, Pumpin, Rock And Roll, Rocks, Tappin

Same Author Quotes

If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.

America, Barack, Funny, Make, Maybe, Usa

The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put anti-miscegenation laws to a vote, and that would have passed pretty handily. Either all people are created equal-or they're not. You're either buying into the original premise of America-or you're not.

America, Law, Passed, Vote, Wisdom, Wise

So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.

America, News, Smirnoff, Stalin, Voice

That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.

1973, Committee, Ethics, Oxymoron, Rolex

Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.

Broke, Complaining, Fun, Joy, Nice, Work

Similar Quotes

Misty Copeland

I shouldn't even be wearing a tutu. I don't have the right legs, my muscles are too big.

Big, Bigs, Legs, Muscles, Right

Jim Rohn

Good people are found not changed. They can change themselves, but you can't change them. You want good people, you have to find them. If you want motivated people, you have to find them, not motivate them.

Found, Motivated, People, Want

Aliko Dangote

You could easily tell that hardwork and perseverance go hand in hand with patience. We often hear people say patience is worth it, yet we don't practice it. I did and look how well it worked out for me.

Hands, Hardwork, Perseverance, Practice, Say, Worked

Samantha Harris

Food insecurity and hunger are serious threats to children's health, growth, and development. The idea of not being able to put plentiful, nutritious food on the table for my girls is a horrifying thought.

Children, Girl, Hunger, Ideas, Table, Threats

Frederick Lenz

Purity is essential for just your own peace of mind; otherwise, you'll go through this world like a mad person, howling and screaming and cursing, never satisfied, never happy.

Buddhism, Essential, Mad, Mind, World