You can't go to the bathroom alone. . . you might not come back. Cause no girl's ever … - Iliza Shlesinger

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Quote of the day

The Gaian mind is what were calling the psychedelic experience. Its an experience of the living fact of the entelechy of the planet - and without that experience we wander in a desert of bogus ideologies. But with that experience the compass of the self can be set.

Iliza Shlesinger

You can't go to the bathroom alone. . . you might not come back. Cause no girl's ever been to the bathroom alone and survived. It's true. The last woman that attempted it, it was 1937 and her name was Amelia Earhart.

Alone, Bathroom, Girl, Might, Name, Names

Same Author Quotes

Passion always finds a way. Follow your passion and everything else will work out.

Passion, Work Out, Way, Work, Everything

You know what happened the last time a group of people said, 'Screw it, we don't care what you think'? They got hung as witches.

Care, Groups, Hung, People, Thinking, Witches

I learned this one growing up in Texas and, subsequently, living in Los Angeles: always use the 'usted' form when speaking to a Spanish official. Mexican border patrol cops don't like it when you call them 'amigo,' give them a hardy pat on the back, slip a $20 in their pocket. No bueno, it doesn't fly. By the way, those of you not laughing at that obviously took French in high school, and that was a gay choice.

Amigo, French, Gay, Growing Up, School, Texas

Both are salty, one will give me carpal tunnel, I'll go with the fries.

Tunnels, Giving, Fries, Salty, Tunnel

It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.

Able, Comic, Feels, Girl, World