I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.
When you have an audience that embraces you that much, you really want to give them your best. It becomes a really interactive experience instead of just playing a show to random people - there's a connection.