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Besides the general infusion of wit to heighten civility, the direct splendor of intellectual power is ever welcome in fine society, as the costliest addition to its rule and its credit.

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Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!

Alex, Night, Said, Three, Wife
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When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Dean, Dracula, Necks, People, Way

Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!

Dinner, Nickname, Nicknames, Night, Wedding

Sure, I've gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. . . I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands or feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, but. . . thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!

Cancer, Feet, Hear, Medications, Quieter, Two

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Dinner, Kings, Solomon, Tonight, Wife, Wives

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

Come, Dinner, Girl, Jack, Mother
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