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Red Buttons Biography

Red Buttons (born Aaron Chwatt; February 5, 1919 – July 13, 2006) was an American comedian and actor. He won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for Sayonara (1957).

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Red Buttons Quotes

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

Dinner, Killed, Scottland, Wife, Wives, Yards

Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!

Alex, Night, Said, Three, Wife

J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!

Buried, Dinner, Keep, Oil

Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner!

Dinner, Manhattan, Minuet, Modern

Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!

Christopher, Columbus, Dinner, Queens, World, Wrong

Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, Are you sure all we did was kiss? Never got a dinner!

Beauty, Charming, Dinner, Kissing, Sleep

Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!

Dinner, Helen, Hooker, New York, Upstate

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

Flossing, Goal, Keep, Working

Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!

House, John, Maids, Marion, Robins

Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner!

Burning, Elder, Play, Requested, Rome

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Dinner, Kings, Solomon, Tonight, Wife, Wives

Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!

Days, Night, Nights, Paper, Papers, Wife

Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!

Dinner, Medal, Said, Saint

Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!

Angelo, Ceilings, Girlfriend, Mirrors, Said

Sure, I've gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. . . I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands or feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, but. . . thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!

Cancer, Feet, Hear, Medications, Quieter, Two

Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner!

Credit, Dinner, Remus, Uncles

John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!

Morning, Night, Nothing, Rash, Sunday

Vincent Van Gogh, who said to the hat salesman, I like it, but it keeps sliding over my ear. Never got a dinner!

Dinner, Ear, Ears, Hats, Salesman, Van

Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!

Cotton, Dinner, Eli, Said, Uncles, Whitney

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!

Boy, Boys, Dinner, Heart, Stake, Wooden

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Red Buttons Biography

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