I've never seen America as an imperialist or colonialist or meddling country.
In addition to comedy, I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.
I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.
My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.
I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn't want to go, because I've put on like a hundred pounds.
The only way to really have safe sex is to abstain. From drinking.
A man has every season while a woman only has the right to spring.
Cinderella? Snow White? What's that? An illness?
The Magnificent Seven was really kind of a miraculous event that took place in my life.
Great, lets round up all the useless cats and hope a tree falls on them - Jayfeather