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I still have a lot of faith that there's very few people who are savvy enough to actually produce a good sounding copy of the record.

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Bob Monkhouse

It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.

Age, Degrees, Funny, Humor, Today
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I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.

Club, Clubs, Found, Home, Real

I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.

Distance, Enjoy, Funny, Live, Sex

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex. . . Yes, three times in 35 years.

Sex, Three, Wife, Years, Yes

I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.

Close, Phrase, Phrases, Said, Saws, Thinking

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Birth, Funny, Guarantees That, Humor, Regarded, Unwritten
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