Top Lenny Bruce Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Lenny Bruce Biography

Leonard Alfred Schneider (October 13, 1925 – August 3, 1966), better known by his stage name Lenny Bruce, was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, and satirist. He was renowned for his open, free-style and critical form of comedy which integrated satire, politics, religion, sex, and vulgarity. His 1964 conviction in an obscenity trial was followed by a posthumous pardon, the first in the history of New York state, by then-Governor George Pataki in 2003.

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Lenny Bruce Quotes

If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.

Believe, Dirty, Lies, Lying, Think

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

Dogs, Funny, Gone, Love, Relationship, Time

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

Addiction, Die, Kissing, Young

Anyone who does anything for pleasure to indulge his selfish soul will surely burn in Hell.

Indulge, Pleasure, Religion, Selfish, Soul

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.

Admit, Alright, Atheism, Christ, Three

Communism is like one big phone company.

Big, Communism, Company, Funny, Humorous, Witty

There are never enough I Love You's.

Cute, Enough, Love, Love You

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it.

Art, Comedy, Fake, Honest, Laughter

Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.

Never Trust, Preacher, Suits, Trust, Two

TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.

Crowds, Gigs, Tvs, Advertising, Crowd, Gig

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

Bread, Except, Make, Poor, Poverty, War

Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.

Act, Comedian, Generation, Lying, Next Week, Truth

Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.

Let, Lie, Long Ago, Lying, People, Tell

Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.

Boss, Men, Speech, Tell, Two, Way

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

Enough, Ridiculous, Sarcasm, Satirize, Thinking, Time

I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even. " That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

Children, Custody, Kids, Lady, Mean, Old

You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

Cheap, Humor, Laughter, Pay, Sense, Sense Of Humor

I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

Grave, People, Refuse, Restaurants, Same, Taste

You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.

Car, Cat, Running, Start

What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.

Lying, Next Week, Today, Truth, Week

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