Top Cynthia Heimel Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Cynthia Heimel Biography

Cynthia Heimel (née Glick;July 13, 1947 – February 25, 2018) was a feminist humorist writer from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She was a columnist and foremost the author of satirical books known for their unusual titles, aimed at a female readership, as well as a playwright and television writer.

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Cynthia Heimel Quotes

I remember the day we were hanging around the band's commune and Roger came in with the press kit for a rock band (Moby Grape) any of us had ever seen. It looked psychedelic, yet it was done by ad people. I believe the word "hype" was coined on that very day.

Believe, Day, Grape, Humorous, Moby, Rocks

Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.

Car, Cities, Malls, Pools, Shopping

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.

Act, Dog, Dogs, Funny, Shame, Way

There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.

Brilliantly, Inspirational, Life, Line, Microscopically, Women

Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents.

Baby, Children, Funny, Parents, Perfect, Pity

Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.

Actual, Apology, Cosmetics, Faces, Makeup

You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'

Child, Children, Cute, Kids, Know

Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you like, well, a book.

Book, Brain, Delving, Laid, Reading, Snapping

With dogs, you don't need gurus. Dogs are forever in the moment. They are always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love.

Dog, Feelings, Forever, Love, Variant

The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.

Book, Buying, Health, Mean, Self, Twit

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.

Appalling, Fall, Friends, Judge, Love, People

A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.

Comedian, Comedy, Demon, Demons, Taking

Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.

Dog, Dogs, Needs, Species, Symbiotic, We Need Each Other

In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her. If we happen into a nightclub by mistake, when we leave the doorman will be lying in the street surrounded by police.

Buddhist, Funny, Girl, Leave, Police, Refusing

Contrary to popular cable TV-induced opinion, aerobics have nothing to do with squeezing our body into hideous shiny Spandex, grinning like a deranged orangutan, and doing cretinous steps to debauched disco music.

Contrary, Debauched, Disco Music, Fitness, Opinion, Tvs

a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!

Dry, Dry Cleaning, Groceries, Moving, Shoes

Throughout their lives, women try to pummel their bodies into some phantom ideal shape that exists only with a lot of airbrushing. . . . I don't blame men for this. Men seem to go for us no matter what size and shape we are. I blame capitalism. No, really. The consumer must constantly be in a state of anxious low self-esteem so that she will constantly buy lipsticks and girdles to make her feel cuter.

Exists, Lives, Men, Self Esteem, Size, Trying

Los Angeles people are incapable of passively mainlining TV and movies. Here you have to read who produced or directed every episode, who wrote it, who had guests shots and whether you know them personally and if they like you. You have to figure out who everybody's agent is and whether yours is better. You not only know but deeply care about the difference between such job titles as Producer, Supervising Producer, and Executive Story Editor. . . . So while the rest of the country is lying stupid in a media-induced coma, people in L. A. are in constant withdrawal.

Country, Editor, Jobs, Lying, Movies, Passively

Sex is not some sort of pristine, reverent ritual. You want reverent and pristine, go to church.

Church, Pristine, Reverent, Sex, Want

Enough about you let's hear about me.

Enough, Hear

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