In masturbation there is nothing but loss.
I'm a promoter of masturbation. Don't sleep around. . . learn yourself first! Guys do it, but girls don't. They should.
Self improvement is masturbation.
[Norman Mailer] is against masturbation, he's against homosexuality. He believes that murder is essentially sexual. I think he's rather an anthology of all the darkest American traits.
Life is just masturbation in a sense, mentally. What people do is they just create a world out of their self-reflection.
You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.
Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.
Masturbation is an absolutely peerless cure for the hiccups
Writing a book is like masturbation, and making a movie is like an orgy.
Love is what makes sex more than masturbation. If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner.
Drawing and masturbation were the first sacred experiences I remember.
Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.
Maybe in the 90s or possibly in the next century people will look upon the 80s as the age of masturbation, when it was taken to the limit; that might be all that's going on right now in a big way.
Philosophy is to science as masturbation is to sex.
[On masturbation:] I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.
Masturbation is great for the right arm
What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.
Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a "Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. " But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
Abused as we abuse it at present, dramatic art is in no sense cathartic; it is merely a form of emotional masturbation.