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Cyber Command is supposed to be defending our critical infrastructure at home, but they are spending so much time looking at how to attack networks, how to break systems, and how to turn things off. I don't think it adds up as representing a defensive team.

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Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.

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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

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We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

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You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

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