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Dictatorship played a decisive role in the North's successful effort to maintain the Union by force of arms. . . one man was the government of the United States. . . Lincoln was a great dictator. . . . This great constitutional dictator was self appointed.

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Steven Wright

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me -- and I didn't hear it.

Alone, Fell, Forest, Forests, Tree, Walking
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring. . . 'How to Build a Boat. '

Asked, Book, Desert, Island, Islands, Stranded

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

Funny, Humanitarians, Humor, Vegetables, Vegetarians

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Cowboy, Follow, Funny, Humor, Models, Musicians

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. . . I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Birthday, Funny, Humor, Let, Same

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Daydream, Dream, Funny Inspirational, Kept, Love, Wandering
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