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I met, not long ago, a young man who aspired to become a novelist. Knowing that I was in the profession, he asked me to tell him how he should set to work to realize his ambition. I did my best to explain. 'The first thing,' I said, 'is to buy quite a lot of paper, a bottle of ink, and a pen. After that you merely have to write. '

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Christopher Titus

The United States ranks 14th in the world in education. Even if we subtract Sarah Palin's test scores, it only bumps us to third. Damn you, Finland!

14Th, Bumps, Damn You, Test, United States
Same Author Quotes

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

Five, Honor, Liars, Please, Thing, Wife

My first car was a 1977 Oldsmobile Delta 88. Ugly car. More ugly on this car than a Rolling Stones group photo.

Car, Groups, Photo, Rolling, Ugly

The closer you get to death, the more alive you feel. Dylan Thomas wrote, Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. My dad always taught me to live like that. Dad wrote a poem too. It goes, Dune buggies. Woohoo!

Against, Dad, Good Night, Light, Rage, Thomas

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again. . . that's exciting.

Crazy, Dating, Kevlar, Night, Relationship

Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.

Philosophical, Philosophy, Pissed, Pissed Off, Remember, Whenever
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