It is an amiable part of human nature, that we should love our animals; it is even better to love them to the point of folly, than not to love them at all.
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me. " On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!"
Circumstances don't create character. They reveal character.
Why should we think that we wouldn't have a cross to carry? Are we somehow more deserving than our Lord?
A guy walks up to me and asks, "What's Punk?". So I kick over a garbage can and say. "That's punk!". So he kicks over the garbage can and says, "That's Punk?", and I say, "No that's trendy!
Really, each era has its own false nostalgia. We all put a picket fence up around something. For my generation it was the '50s, and for other generations it will be something else. Change is scary for everyone, as is complexity, contradiction, and an uncertain future.