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Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. . . . we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.

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Christian Finnegan

If think the pig was terrified because he was fully aware that after segment he was going to be fed to Al Roker.

Als, Fully, Pig, Pigs, Terrified, Thinking
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Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.

Intellectual, Nothing, Person, Pimp, Positive, Sex

The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.

Facts, Idiot, Intelligence, Intelligent, Sentence, Word

Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.

Charges, Charity, Effort, Michael, Molestation

I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, "Well, I could always go back to law school. "

Drama, Options, Particularly, School, Teaching

What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!

Bags, Break, Car, People, Weed
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