People aren't really paying attention when they're listening to your record, so unless you're shouting exactly what you want them to hear, they don't pay attention.
I think people have always misinterpreted my self-destructive nature as nihilistic, because if you don't care about the world, you can't create art. I am misanthropic and self-loathing, but never nihilistic. And I think I act far worse off-stage than onstage.