Good thinking brings good feeling and good feeling brings good thinking.
One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude. ' 'Dude, these are isotopes. ' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine. ' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies. '
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left. '
Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
One of the mistakes women have made is to romanticize life in the rose-covered cottage and then, discovering their error, proceed to romanticize life in the working world.
We need more cartoonists to truly retire when they retire, and not run repeats.
Cats and I have an understanding, but we choose not to interact often.
I hate having to pose for photos. It's just so embarrassing. Everyone is expecting you to know what to do because you're an actor, but I haven't a clue.