How can an article about me or the Batman be the true story when I am not consulted or interviewed?
Thank you. . . fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.
. . . Being a father is the most exciting, amazing thing that ever happened to me.
Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.
I didn't think it was going to be this fun. But everything just gets heightened when you have a baby. The volume gets turned up on life. I never knew I could be this happy, and that's the truth.
Thank you hard taco shells for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.
According to a new report, since he's been governor, Chris Christie has spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Now, I know it seems like the perfect story for a Chris Christie joke but I'm actually on a Chris Christie joke diet. So nothing for me, thanks.
Children are not only sensitive to silence, but also to a voice which calls them. . . Out of that silence.
I mean maybe I was holding all the aces, but what was the game?
I don't mean this grandly, but it was never my intention to live in L. A. and do a big network show.
Hogamus, higamous Man is polygamous Higamus, hogamous Woman monogamous.