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If you want to be treated like adults then start acting like them.

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Robin Williams

I had to stop drinking alcohol because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.

Alcohol, Car, Drinking, Keys, Used
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You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Divorce, Funny, Humor, Losing, Tornado, Trailer

The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that.

Character, Idea, Ideas, Kind, One Line, Relate

I was once walking in an airport and a woman came up to me and said, 'Be zany!'. That'd be like walking up to Baryshikov and going, 'Plie! Just do a plie! Do it! Do a releve right now! Lift my wife!'

Airport, Airports, Memorable, Wife, Woman, Zany

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

Cowboy, Chinese, Railroads, Worker, Cowboys

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

Cute, Dead Poets Society, Poetry, Read, Write, Writing
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