The editor of a newspaper cannot be independent, but must work with one hand tied behind him by party and patrons, and be content to utter only half or two-thirds of his mind. writers of all kinds are manacled servants of the public. We write frankly and fearlessly, but then we "modify" before we print.
Spend some time observing babies. They don't work; they poop in their pants, and they have no goals other than to expand, grow and explore this amazing world. Be like that baby you once were, in terms of being joyful.