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There also is the plight that comes from natural disasters; these natural disasters could be alleviated or dealt with; we only need some time to do it.

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Andy Borowitz

Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.

Action, Backwards, Contraception, Keep, Settling, Slavery
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.

Christmas, Gifts, Return, Spent, Time, Want

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Dashboard, Distract, Funny, Internet, Travel, Worry

A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.

Americans, Christie, Executed, Race, Tests

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

Airport, Dress, Funny, People, Thinking, Travel

If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them

Autocorrects, Friends, Funny Friend, Google, People, Wrong
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