I've been mainly a happy boy in my life. I married the right girl and we did what we wanted to do.
They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I'm above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.
I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.
I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog
First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.
The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.
I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
Campbell" Julia says "Don't do this to me" "Do what?" "Push me off the same cliff twice
Inspiration doesn't really work like that - you're not looking out for it. Inspiration is something that tends to capture you rather than you capture it.
There are plenty of lesbians in Hollywood, but they're not out. And that's their choice, but I can't do that, it's too important to me
Traveling is one way of lengthening life, at least in appearance.