We must keep our thought secret, and judge everything by it, while talking like the people.
Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.
I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.
I think if anything, the fact that it's popular right now makes me go: "Well, I guess I'm going to start doing something else then in the next few years. " I dunno, it almost feels hackneyed at this point. To start a premise by saying, "I did this awkward thing. " But then again, awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy. Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you. '
If she were (looking into my eyes), she’d have seen how absolutely floored I was the first time I finally, truly saw her. The clouds moved at just the right moment, fully lighting her face by the moon. She was dazzlingly beautiful. Underneath thick lashes were eyes blue as ice, something cool to balance out the flames in her hair. I felt a strange flutter in my chest, like the glow of a fireplace or the warmth of the afternoon. It stayed there for a moment, playing with my pulse.
Cooking saved my life! Sure, there were some miserable moments, but that was sort of the point, to find something challenging and consuming enough to take a place in the center of my life into which was creeping a horrible feeling of stasis and the doom of mediocrity.
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
I had fought against the unjust restriction of immigration.