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I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me, I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me.

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Ronnie Shakes

One question on hospital admittance forms really gets me. "Sex: Male or Female?" Do I want to be in a hospital where they can't tell the difference?

Differences, Gets, Hospital, Males, Sex, Tell
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My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.

August, Doctors, Health, Live, Weeks

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles. '

Funny, Eye, Years, Brought, Tears

Sometimes the unexpected does happen. Once, this exquisite woman fell for me. After we made love, she gave me a check for a hundred dollars. I said, "Honey, I don't get paid for sex. " She said, "This is hush money. "

Doe, Dollars, Fell, Hundred, Money, Sex

I always wanted to be the last guy on Earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me.

Lying, Guy, Earth, Women, See

A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?'

Ask, Funny Relationship, Mind, People, Person, Question
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