I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me, I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me.
One question on hospital admittance forms really gets me. "Sex: Male or Female?" Do I want to be in a hospital where they can't tell the difference?
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles. '
Sometimes the unexpected does happen. Once, this exquisite woman fell for me. After we made love, she gave me a check for a hundred dollars. I said, "Honey, I don't get paid for sex. " She said, "This is hush money. "
I always wanted to be the last guy on Earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me.
A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?'
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.
Even knowing the ending was sad, I wouldn't have deprived myself the beauty of the story.
I'm the worst person about publicizing myself.
I used to think about video games, "This is clearly an amazing, new narrative medium, and it's going to be mind-blowing when people get to grips with what's possible within this medium. " It took us a century to get really good at film. Video games are at a much earlier stage.