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I'm a big fan of not letting the audience of off the hook, as they say. I like it when things feel real, and that's oftentimes not comfortable.

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Rich Hall

A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice.

Hair, Hoping, Humorous, Spot, Spots
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When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

Funny, Witty, Work, Desk, Rich

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.

Men, Pimp, Want, Knows, Women

As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

America, American, Apologize, Apologizing, Everything, Like

The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

Humorous, Peculiar, Returning, Searching, Snack, Snacks

The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

Envelopes, Figures, Humorous, Person, Quite, Stamp
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