People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so. ' - Bill Bailey

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I played with dolls until I was 15. My mother encouraged it because my older sister got married when she was 15, so Mom thought that the longer I stayed with dolls, the better.

Bill Bailey

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so. '

Bill, Funny, Hope, Humor, People, Say

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It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Funny, Good, Humor, Show, Vegetarian, Vegetarianism

Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.

Contentment, Happiness, Knowing, Knowing Someone, Right, Wrong

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Blokes, Littles, Stupid, Three, Unfolds, Whole

You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey, the so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing. Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.

Bafflingly, Confused, Eight, Funny, Paralyzing, Philosophical

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

Couple, Hand, Hands, Way

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John Keats

You speak of Lord Byron and me; there is this great difference between us. He describes what he sees I describe what I imagine. Mine is the hardest task.

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Alexis Arguello

Yes, across the board, these gentlemen understand they have the power to make a difference and even educate people to injustices that are occurring in their worlds.

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Rudy Giuliani

I would ask [protesters] to please respect - I'd ask them to please respect the democratic process.

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Linda Evans

I played with dolls until I was 15. My mother encouraged it because my older sister got married when she was 15, so Mom thought that the longer I stayed with dolls, the better.

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Jon Krakauer

Achieving the summit of a mountain was tangible, immutable, concrete. The incumbent hazards lent the activity a seriousness of purpose that was sorely missing from the rest of my life. I thrilled in the fresh perspective that came from the tipping the ordinary plane of existence on end.

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