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Nine-tenths of wisdom is appreciation. Go find someone's hand and squeeze it, while there's still time.

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Larry the Cable Guy

There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars. "

Country, Differences, Old, Redneck, Three
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We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular. ' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas. ' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau. ' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.

Cable, Guy, Make, Names, Year, Years

People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly kid, always listened and obeyed. "

Ask, Kids, Mom, Obeyed, People

I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was a guidance counselor at Wymore High School. He was also a preacher and did farming as well. We leased out our crop land but had cattle and horses.

Dad, Horse, Land, Lived, Right, School

I'm always wearing a Nebraska hat. Most of the time I'm wearing something that's got a Husker something on it. I make sure I have it on TV but I have it regularly.

Hats, Make, Nebraska, Time, Tvs, Wearing

I'm saying, come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?

Age, Come, Dinosaurs, Ice, Melt
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