I have a number of symptoms that are neurotic and are constricting in the sense that if I … - Woody Allen

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We've been saying Putin is a dictator for years who doesn't care about the law.

Woody Allen

I have a number of symptoms that are neurotic and are constricting in the sense that if I had a brilliant idea for a film that had to be shot in Tulsa, OK I would tear it up and throw it away. Anything outside of New York, 'cause I can't exist in a hotel outside of my own home, I have to be in my own home and my own environment. This is a neurotic symptom that is constricting to my work even.

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.

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Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.

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Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.

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