Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted … - Fran Lebowitz

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The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.

Fran Lebowitz

Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.

Children, Color, Interest, Long

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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

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People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention) have often been likened to snowflakes. This analogy is meant to suggest that each is unique - no two alike. This is quite patently not the case. People, even at the current rate of inflation - in fact, people especially at the current rate of inflation - are quite simply a dime a dozen. And, I hasten to add, their only similarity to snowflakes resides in their invariably and lamentable tendency to turn, after a few warm days, to slush.

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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

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