How often do we do that, he wondered--look at someone and fail to see what's really there?
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
It's not a very big thing to say, 'I made a mistake' on the war, and typical of Hillary Clinton that she can't.
All the fun is in how you say a thing.
What's good about writing is that when you write novels or fiction, people can see that the problems in one region are similar to problems in another region.
In the name of Annah the Allmaziful, the Everliving, the Bringer of Plurabilities, haloed be her eve, her singtime sung, her rill be run, unhemmed as it is uneven!