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My knowledge of myself is direct, synthetic, from within outwards; my knowledge of other persons is indirect, analytical, from outside inwards. My knowledge of myself starts at the core; that of others at the crust.

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Felipe Esparza

I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, 'Damn, that TV has 500 channels. ' When I got older, it didn't have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees.

Dad, Home, Knob, Neighborhood, Tvs
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I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body - this is a tell nobody.

Body, Leave, Light, Shirt, Shirts, Threesome

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

Comedian, Comedy, Mexico, Start

The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.

Car, Cousin, Illegal, Police, Pulled

I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

Movies, Neighbor, Terrorist, Thinking, Watch, Watches

I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.

Children, Give, Husband, Mom, Sell
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