I club the thing over the head and that's the end of it.
I never listened to the Grateful Dead as a teen; the only exposure I got was what came through the walls when my sister was listening to them.
There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job.
And if I may, call your mom, everybody. I've told this [to], like, a billion people, or so. Call your mom, call your dad. If you're lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call 'em. Don't text. Don't email. Call them on the phone. Tell 'em you love 'em, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom and Dad.
I like to act. Every other aspect of show business I find uninteresting.
I literally went in and auditioned and got the part of "sounds like J. K. Simmons. " I've heard people say a "J. K. Simmons type, but younger" or "J. K. Simmons, but with hair" or "J. K. Simmons but Mongolian. " It's often "J. K. Simmons but. . . ". You think you're on top of the world and they're asking for a "J. K. Simmons-type" and then, before you know it, they're asking for a "J. K. Simmons only younger. " The next step is for a "J. K. Simmons-type. . . Oh, you mean he's still alive?"
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your D*** lemons, what the h*** am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
I have on numerous occasions, as you know, expressed my sympathy in the establishment of a National Home for the Jews in Palestine and, despite the set-backs caused by the disorders there during the last few years, I have been heartened by the progress which has been made and by the remarkable accomplishments of the Jewish settlers in that country.
I think this society suffers so much from too much freedom, too many rights that allow people to be irresponsible.
I was always fascinated by the infinite, strange and 'scandalous' ways that insects copulate.
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.