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Everybody says Steve McManaman played on the left for me in Euro 96 but he never played on the left. The one time he did play on the left was against Switzerland.

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Chris Rock

You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.

Bullshit, Humor, Life, Life Is Short, Live, Years
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.

Fired, Rays, Video, Wife

Not a Harvard-type education,. . . Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

Education, Funny, Humor, Liquor Stores

If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!

Funny, Grandma, Humor, Kid, Mommy, Pam

We treat racism in this country like it's a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people. We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You've got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it's immune to and what breaks it down.

America, Black, Country, Crazy

I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful.

Know, Knows, Literally, Next, Successful
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