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Because I cannot flatter and look fair, Smile in men's faces, smooth, deceive, and cog, Duck with French nods and apish courtesy, I must be held a rancorous enemy.

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Spike Milligan

I told you I was sick.

Death, Football, Sick, Suicide, Told
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Archduke Franz Ferdinand Found Alive! First World War a Mistake!

Alive, Archduke, Ferdinand, Mistake, War

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Kilt, Kilts, Order, Perfect, Worn

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Joke, Laughing, Singing, Spent, Told, Years

One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?

Day, Funny, Humor, Knows, One Day

General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike:. . . Well, all of me.

General, London, Part, Spike, Wells
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