Don't be late to the theater. The opening scene is a goody.
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
Comedy is the only hope for humanity.
I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
You can imagine how the kids teased me, with a name like Chris Hemsworth. 'Kiss Ham'sWart'-that's what they called me. Meaning if there was a piece of ham with an ugly wart on it, I was such a loser I'd probably kiss it. It was endless.
I wouldn't be myself if I weren't always trying to be someone else. I only have so much time on this earth and I want to be as many people as possible.
He had a tremendous propensity for getting lost when driving. This was largely because of his method of “Zen” navigation, which was simply to find any car that looked as if it knew where it was going and follow it. The results were more often surprising than successful, but he felt it was worth it for the sake of the few occasions when it was both.
I keep a quotes journal - of every sentence that I've wanted to remember from my reading of the past 30 years.