Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. . . . He … - Jay Leno

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Statistics vary, but in less than seven years there won't be a single cell left in any of our bodies that's the same as it is today. This means that any human being who 'wants' to change is like a mountain river wanting to reach the valley floor. It's a done deal; that's what mountain rivers do, and 'changing' should be our first nature.

Jay Leno

Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. . . . He might have to give his Blackberry because of security reasons. Because they're easy to hack into. In fact, when Obama heard he might have to give it up, he said, 'OMG! WTF?' I mean, he couldn't believe it.

Believe, Giving Up, Mean, Obama, President, Reasons

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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D. C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Christmas, Funny, Religious, Scene, Wise

Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.

Confuse, Fools Day, Irs, People, Relatives, Trying

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Come, Epic, Funny, Lottery, Money, Psychic

Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.

America, Cities, Defense, Juarez, Mexicans, Texas

A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth. Today he was offered a job as President Obama's economic adviser.

Burning, Economic, Jobs, Said, Snow, Tunnels