The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. - Steven Wright

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Quote of the day

Why is it you assholes always feel the need to tell the media your evil plans before you kill us?” asked Becks. “Is it a union requirement or something?

Steven Wright

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Bread, Butter, Funny, Humor, Proportional

Same Author Quotes

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring. . . 'How to Build a Boat. '

Asked, Book, Desert, Island, Islands, Stranded

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

Funny, Humanitarians, Humor, Vegetables, Vegetarians

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Cowboy, Follow, Funny, Humor, Models, Musicians

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. . . I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Birthday, Funny, Humor, Let, Same

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Daydream, Dream, Funny Inspirational, Kept, Love, Wandering

Similar Quotes

Tyler Blackburn

As a kid, I was mischievous, necessarily, but I always wanted to do adventurous stuff.

Adventurous, Kid, Kids, Mischievous, Stuff

Mira Grant

Why is it you assholes always feel the need to tell the media your evil plans before you kill us?” asked Becks. “Is it a union requirement or something?

Evil, Media, Needs, Requirement, Union

Madonna Ciccone

I think it's just that as a creative person, in all the different things that I've done or ways that I've found to express myself, I've consistently come up against resistance in certain areas. I think that the world is not comfortable with female sexuality. It's always coming from a male point of view, and a woman is being objectified by a man - and even women are comfortable with that. But when a woman does it, ironically, women are uncomfortable with it. I think a lot of that has to do with conditioning.

Certain, Female, Men, Point, Thinking, Views

Wayne Grudem

God's glory is the created brightness that surrounds God’s revelation of himself.

Brightness, Created, Glory, Revelations, Surrounds

Hugh Hefner

I was a very idealistic, very romantic kid in a very typically Midwestern Methodist repressed home. There was no show of affection of any kind, and I escaped to dreams and fantasies produced, by and large, by the music and the movies of the '30s.

Affection, Dream, Dreams, Home, Kids, Large