A woman is most beautiful when she smiles. Other than that, the most valuable tip I've learned is always use a skin moisturiser!
Some of you guys must have real jobs - office jobs. Anybody? By a show of broken spirits.
Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.
The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.
Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.
I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, "Well, I could always go back to law school. "
What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!
Every interview with a public figure should include the question "What have you been wrong about, and how did that change your views?" The answer will tell us if the person is intellectually honest or a tale spinner with delusions of infallibility.
People usually go through a bad period when they first get successful. You're new and you're hot and things go wrong.
The governments of Europe are afraid to trust the people with arms. If they did, the people would certainly shake off the yoke of tyranny, as America did.
She has a laugh so hearty it knocks the whipped cream off an order of strawberry shortcake on a table fifty feet away.