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I've been bitten by a python. Not a very big one. I was being silly, saying: 'Oh, it's not poisonous' Then, wallop! But you have fear around animals.

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Stephen Colbert

Ghost of Bobby: no, no you can't eat me. I'm a ghost. Stephen Colbert: That just means that there's less bones to pick out.

Bones, Colbert, Eat, Ghost, Mean, Pick
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Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.

Continue, Corporations, Exist, Government, Guarantees, People

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

Firm, Grasp, Obvious

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.

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Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

Blow, Give, Man, Men, Suicide, Teach
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