People love to yammer on about things that aren't real.
I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn't, I hit them.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing.
Ninety-nine percent is in the delivery. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.
My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated. " I said, "How about Tuesday?"
I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.
There was a discordant hum of human voices! There was a loud blast as of many trumpets! There was a harsh grating as of a thousand thunders! The fiery walls rushed back! An outstretched arm caught my own as I fell, fainting, into the abyss. It was that of General Lasalle. The French army had entered Toledo. The Inquisition was in the hands of its enemies.
I would love to do a really cool romantic comedy, perhaps with Hugh Grant. I think he is brilliant. That's the kind of film I love to go to see. I love 'girls' films'.
The chess world is obligated to organize a match between the champion of the world and the winner of this Carlsbad tournament - indeed, this is a moral obligation. If the world of chess should remain deaf to its obligation, on the other hand, it would amount to an absolutely unforgivable omission, carrying with it a heavy burden of guilt.
Excellence is rarely found, more rarely valued.