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Satan doesn't mind you using your strengths, so long as you do it for personal benefits.

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Laurie Notaro

You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy!

Dog, Evil, Fighting, Goddamnit, War
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If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.

Believe, Block, Give, Giving Up, Personally, Uplifting

I majored in journalism at Arizona State University, where I began writing the columns I write now, but I cannot, in good conscience, refer to myself as a writer. I'm a columnist, maybe a journalist, I guess I'm an author, but writer. . . no. That's not up to me to call myself, that's rather lofty. It's for the reader to decide.

Arizona, Columnist, Guess, Journalism, Write, Writing

I could croak with no warning, and the only tragedy anyone would experience would be showing up on the last day of my estate sale simply to discover that all remaining items had copious amounts of dog hair on them.

Croak, Discover, Dog, Hair, Tragedy

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

Low, Nonexistent, Running, Small, Space, Towns

Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.

Bad, Bad Boy, Bad Boyfriend, Boyfriends, Girlfriend, Girlfriends
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